Happy 4th of July! Saturday, Jul 4 2009

Just found that video…can’t help but post it in here. I laugh every time I watch it. My view on gay people is that marriage and well…things before that should be between a man and a woman. Lol! Wouldn’t Perez Hilton have a fit? I salute the former Miss Cali. for saying this on national television, but well, the topless photos didn’t help out a lot afterwards, if you know what I mean.

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY PPLZ!!!!!

My dad has work today and since my mom has this thing about not driving out of a 2-mile radius of our house, we’re going to be staying in and watching TV this year (like we did last year). We still have the photos of fireworks from last year too, NBC logo in corner included. Anyone know how to take a good picture of fireworks on the TV?

…Ika. Have she looked at my blog yet? Her shelfari says she was on seven hours ago. I gave her the link to my blog here more than seven hours. I wonder if she’s mad at me. Hmmmmmm…TOODLES!

…That video is FUNNY!

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I Totally Forgot! Friday, Jul 3 2009

Oh yeah. Probably everyone’s posting about Michael Jackson’s death and Farrah Fawcett’s death. As for me, I think Fawcett’s was awesome. The Jackson thing though…it’s way too televised for my liking. I mean, I understand why everyone’s so worked up about it, but I’m just SO tired of seeing all those TV specials about him. It’s sort of ironic too how everyone avoided his music because of the lawsuits and stuff. Now, he’s getting in lots of revenue. It’s just too bad he’s dead. I wonder what’ll happen when Britney dies. Then I’ll be screaming “Leave Britney alone!!”. Ha*wipes imaginary tears from eyes*! No really. I wonder what would happen when she dies…hmmmmmmm.

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I’m a HORRIBLE Blogger, Aren’t I? Friday, Jul 3 2009

I envy those people who can actually make a commitment to blog every single day of their lives and keep it. It’s not like my life is uber boring, no, it’s pretty dramatic with its ups and downs along the way. Me iz lazy, that’s why me no bloggy for what?2 months? I’ve escaped the cluthes of middle school, gone to my first and probably last flute festival and recital. I’m saying that it’s probably my last because I say Adios to Band in my sophomore year and all the years after that.

Anyway, thanks for y’all’s comments. I do have other friends, but when they’re not in the same classes as you, you have to make “friends” with other people. It’s sad, I know. There’s not much chance of me getting friends over the summer because with my parent’s you’re-supposed-to-spend-your-summer-with-family policy, I’m scared to ask. They’re like those jack-in-the-boxes. You can never tell when they’ll explode.

The weirdest thing happened two days ago. You see, I entered this poetry competition in April. I would write which one it is, but then the stalkers would be able to find me. My mom told me to go get the mail, this day out of all days. I didn’t want to because…

1. I’m LAZY, remember?
2. I was wearing a tacky, old t-shirt and REALLY short shorts.
3. There were people OUTSIDE.
4. Just cause.

So anyway, because she’s my mom and all, of course I had to go out there. Lucky too, cause that’s when I got the letter saying I was published. Today out of all days. My heart was in my throat. Yes, I was happy, but my mom was right there in the house waiting for the mail and I had a letter saying my poem called TEENAGE REBELLION will be published. Wait, it gets better. I managed to get the letter in the privacy of my room with a lock. I read it. It told me I was awesome and that I’d won a million dollars. Not really. Yadayadaya…my poem made it past the first couple of elimination rounds and will get published IF (big if) I would send this artist’s release for WITH (big with) my parent’s signature by sometime in August. It was simply wonderful. Not. I had the oh-so-awesome choice of showing the letter to them or forging. Yay! Go forging! Not really.

Eventually, both my parents found out. I gave the letter to my dad because he’s the sugar-daddy-yes-I’ll-buy-it-if-I-have-money person in the family, meaning he won’t ask as many questions as my mom. He signed it. No questions. Then, my mom saw the letter because of my stupidity. Suprisingly, they did not comment on the title TEENAGE REBELLION. They just asked if they could read the poem. I said no because I didn’t have it anymore because it was deleted when the computer crashed (a crash caused by yours truly). I did have the one I first wrote-the rough draft…but that one’s not…edited.

Now on to the second big thing in my life. My friend (let’s call her Ika) got a book published. Ika, I’m writing about you now because I’m going to give you this blog address right after I post this. Personally, I am uber proud to be your friend. I hope you write more books and publish them. Now to the bad parts. Don’t hate me. K? If you think you will, DON’T READ ON! But that just makes you want to read on, doesn’t it? I think and have always thought your writing is too dramatic. You add too much to it that it’s overly dramatic. I haven’t read your book yet (can I have  a discount since I’m your friend and I’m dirt poor) though and I haven’t had the patience to write my own book, so maybe I shouldn’t be critizing. You had your book published on a vanity press. Did you try to send it to a third-party publisher? Anyways, I congratulate you on your uber awesome accomplishment. I’m sorry that you’re moving. If you need to publicize your book more…I can make a promotional vid for you on youtube. I hope you get lots of money too.

I hope I’m not too lazy to write tomorrow. Toodles!

Oh…and do I sound suicidal? Just wondering. Lol!

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Is THIS a Negative Blog? Thursday, May 21 2009

I told my friend, let’s call her Helen, that I had a blog. She asked me if it was a negative blog. I told her that she might get mad at me after reading this. I told her that maybe I should give her the web address, so she could see what I really thought, but she was like “No.” She didn’t want to get mad at me. Wow. Isn’t she nice? If only her ideals really worked in real life. She was asking about the sleepover at her house that my mom supposedly said no to. She’s been asking a few times for a couple of weeks now, but today was the first time that I actually told her that I didn’t want to go. You know what Miss-Helen-is-not-her-real-name, I told my mom to say no. I never wanted to go in the first place. That’s basically why my mom said no. Because I told her to.

I’ve already blogged about you guys being good people but bad friends to me, but here’s something I really wish to tell you. The main reason that I don’t want to come is kind of selfish actually. It’s not mainly about the stupid drama that’s going on or anything. That I can mostly deal with. It’s because in the midst of everything that’s going to be going on at this “fun” sleepover, you guys are going to start talking about an issue everyone knows about EXCEPT me or a memory back when I wasn’t at this school that I have absolutely nothing in common with you. Maybe with all the times I’ve been a new girl, I should be used to it by now, but not really. No matter what I say, I was never really with being the one left out. I just TRY not to show how I feel because I know it’s inevitable. It always happens.

Anyway…back to my ranting. I’m mad AGAIN at the district because of its only seven credits per year in high school deal because of funding. Come on, now I have to quit band, get rid of a whole year of Latin AP. If they’re counting electives with the GPA and ranking us, I’m definitely not going to be in the top five at least. That is so not fair. I wanted to be valedictorian, but seeing as that’s basically impossible with Helen and friends getting 100s and 99s all the time and me getting 95s (lowest grade this year), of course the extra 10 pts. that come with AP classes make a freakin’ difference.

Now that those problems are over with, here’s the moment you’ve been waiting for. Not.

I don’t care, I’ll introduce my relationship problems anyway. Let’s start at the beginning. I liked this guy, but my friend liked him too. Seeing as my crushes never get anywhere anyway, I backed off and encouraged her. Then, today I found out that he liked her too. Good for her. I smiled. He. He. He. Good for her. It’s okay I guess. It’s just that it seems all my friends are liked by someone and are getting asked out. Everyone except me. I, along with a lot of other people, did think that this guy liked me, but I’m thinking that he doesn’t now. Besides the fact that he denies it, the times when he got in trouble because of me, and the time that he was happy that he got this other girl while playing the M.A.S.H. game, I don’t think he likes me anymore if he ever did. Bummer for me. Bummer. Bummer. Bummer.

Toodles!

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Worst Part of Blogging on Bad Days. Tuesday, May 19 2009

Do you know what the worst part of blogging is?

It’s the parts when you can’t blog obviously! You see, when you really need to blog out your feelings and about anything stupid going on, you CAN’T. You don’t have a computer or two handy during school hours, do you? Times like today, for example. I am sooo mad at my life right now. I was about to deck the next person who ticked me off by lunch time. That was how tense I was.

It wasn’t enough that I barely got commended on my Science TAKS. If I had missed one more question, I would’ve been dead and incinerated TWICE by my Asian parents. Have I mentioned I was Asian yet? Well, then I’m Asian by the way with Asian parents. Anyway, back to all the things wrong with my life…everyone was like “So, what did you get on the TAKS? I missed one.” Yep, my life was not good. They, of course, had to point and laugh at my face after I told them. I certainly won’t be telling my parents what I got anytime soon.

 Then, there’s the little tiny problem of PEOPLE IGNORING ME. But hey, it’s no big deal. Just think how you would feel if you said hi to a friend and they looked straight at you, then turned right round and talked to someone else. You wouldn’t feel ticked off would you? Earlier, I was using the word pissed, but you know how I’m trying to deal with my cussing issues. Ya, that. It’s not working very well, but I’ll keep at it.

 My closest friends, or rather who I thought at the beginning of the year were my closest friends, didn’t even ask why I looked absolutely MISERABLE. I mean, come on, I was feeling like a piece of crap and did not have the slightest thought of pretending everything was fine. I was thinking the whole time at lunch to myself if any of you guys would notice something else besides your own issues. So, I just sat there not saying anything, looking sad, and they didn’t even do anything. How sad is that? I know you guys have your own stupid issues to deal with, but hey, WHAT KIND OF FRIENDS ARE YOU? I mean, would you personally care if I just got up and left? With all your STUPID DRAMA, would you notice? Seriously one of most honest things I can say to you is that you are not my friends anymore. You don’t act like it. I’m sorry if I bore you because I don’t talk that much or if I’m too ugly or weird for you, whatever it is…I thought you were my friend back in the beginning. I don’t even think you guys are friends yourselves. After all you’ve been through, you guys just can’t get over yourselves and get mad at every little thing someone says. I’m tired of it. I’m truly grateful that you took me in when I was the new kid, but now, I look at you and see that some of your friendship is just skin deep. If you guys keep getting in fights and can’t chill and realize that they can’t understand you sometimes, stop taking sides, not think someone’s doing something just to get attention, or try to get attention all the time yourself, and just talk. Honestly talk with everyone. Without getting mad. If you could only do that. But sometimes, I just want to slap you in the face and say “Let it go.” If you guys can’t talk honestly and openly with each other, maybe you’re just not meant to be.

 Toodles. I’m too lazy to write the Candid P. signature thing.

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Just Got Back from the Play! Tuesday, May 19 2009

Okay, I’m way too lazy to write a lot of words right now…it’s like 10pm, so I’ll just talk about why I’m home so late. I barely spent thirty minutes at home since I went to school this morning. I stayed at school late because I had to practice with my ensemble for the flute festival thing we’re doing next week, I think. Look at me. I don’t even know when our performance is. That’s how disorganized I really am.

I had fifteen minutes to eat my dinner, get dressed in all black (part of the crew here), and get my mom to drive me to the high school where we were doing our last performance of the play, THE YELLOW BOAT. I’ll write a whole post about that during the summer. Why? Because I’m lazy.

I got there like ten minutes late, but it was okay since everyone else was late too. It was so emotional. Not. One of the guys did give me a farewell hug and I was like, “Uhh…no.” We watched Gint (the high school people’s play for one act) afterward and let me tell you something about that play. It is UBER weird. Like double uber. I don’t know if it was common for plays because this is my first experience working with plays, but the main guy was like kissing every girl on stage, eating an onion, and most everyone else was a lunatic. How weird is that? There was also a random Cherokee Indian ( I’m sorry, native american) and I totally did not even have the slightest clue why he was on there.

Well, that’s basically it. After we took group pictures, everyone went outside and hanged out with the high school drama people. I, because I’m so the new girl who came last year and still doesn’t know anyone let alone high schoolers, just stood there, trying to figure out what to do with my life. Eventually, I went outside with the other girl who was also a band person like me. I am not a band nerd, sorry. We talked about how ALONE  we were and about our homework tonight, which reminds me that I haven’t started a single thing on it. It’s due tomorrow as well.

That’s all folks. I better get started on my homework and eat a midnight snack of ice cream or something. As you might have noticed, I didn’t write about cameras at all except for this little sentence like I promised. I don’t know when I’ll be able to write about it, but I’ll try to do it as soon as I can BEFORE it becomes old news.

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Finally Update [2] Sunday, May 17 2009

Here I am again! On to typing up the next post in my notebook.

–start–

I was part of the theatre production this year and yesterday-Saturday-was the BIG one-act festival thing. I was pretty good, considering the facts that our school won the best crew award, best actress, and a couple of all-star cast and tech awards. Yeah, I’d say we did pretty well. I gave away my medal though. It was pretty stupid that they didn’t have enough medals. I felt a bit (okay, a lot) crummy afterwards, all I have to do is tell myself that I’d regret it even more if I hadn’t given mine to the other person. Few things suck more than guilt.

We had a running gag going on backstage. We thought we had lost the big white sheet we needed, so I went “Oh, sheet.” Guess what that sounded like. After that we kept using it in other contexts and it was pretty funny. Then my sister (with “Look at my thumb sticking out of my fist. It looks like the middle finger.) reminded me that I’m not even supposed to imply cussing. I’m a pretty crummy Christian. I’m hypocritical and act more like a non-believer.

Anyways, I’m pretty mad at the government right now with their reduced school funding and all. Now, instead of eight credits, we have only seven credits allowed for my high school. I have to quit Media Technology since my I have to take band (why? that’s another story. I’ll write about it…someday…10 years from now.) My parents are also forcing me to take a medical route because they say Media Technology will just turn me into a hobo. Isn’t that nice?

–end–

I’m tired of typing now. I have one more and it’s about cameras. Remember that one I lost? It’s sort of related. We still haven’t found that camera by the way. I think it’s gone for good. I really don’t want to type all those word again tomorrow so I’ll just make a new post about it instead of typing the old one.

TOODLES!

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Finally Update! Sunday, May 17 2009

Srry…to myself. It seems that absolutely no one has come across this little ranting blog here and that those two measly views I have in my stats are mine and mine alone. Why am I alone even on the Internet? What the freak is wr0ng with my life? Wait, I already know some wrong things with my life already.

Anyways, back to my updates. I have been meaning to update but I haven’t had the time, so my supposed-to-be blog entries were stuck in my little black notebook I write in when I’m bored in Algebra. You know what, most of my blog drafts are written in Algebra! It so boring there and so easy to ignore the teacher (since it’s the end of the school year there’s no point in giving covert names to my soon-to-be former teacher’s is there?) who’s speaking in who know’s language. This will be a long post as it is a mixture of my life over the past few weeks in May…

Oh… and I forgot the dates in which I wrote these, so bear with me. It’s going to be boring.

Numero Uno

I love my mom, but I hate her too. She never understands me and there’s absolutely no way in the whole world that’s I’ll be able to tell her.

Ever.

Just now I almost did. I wanted to tell her that the things she said whenever she was mad, the things about drinking poison and killing herself, that I secretly agreed and told myself that I’d do the same right afterwards.

Just now she was blaming me for the mistakes on my sister’s science project and how it would be my fault. I wish for once that she had the guts to admit she was wrong, and if not, and I turn out to be wrong, to at least pretend she was wrong so I could be right for once.

Is it really that hard?

I have snot stuck in my nose now and I can hardly breathe but I’ll keep writing. I guess this is what they mean by tear-stained diaries. *note: I was writing in a paper notebook at the time or else I would be saying tear-stained laptop. lol.*

Anyway, about the science project. I mean, if she put me in charge of editing my sister’s sentences, shouldn’t she trust me in what  I do? She said so herself that I was better at English than she was, but isn’t she contradicting herself by always saying that the things I added and changed were wrong? She says whenever my dad asked me to make Nesquik milk for him that because he asked me to make it for him, he’d have to drink whatever I made because he didn’t do it himself. How is this so different? This is my sister’s project, not mine! I shouldn’t even make a contribution to it. Let her make her own mistakes. I know you did stuff for me as well, but by her age, I was doing my own projects.

I wish I could tell my mom, these things right now, but I can’t. Maybe someday though, when I can get my own job and be independent. Maybe if I’m mad enough, I’ll tell them everything and run away to a different country somewhere in Europe so they’ll never hear from me again. This is my life.

–end–

Well, that was one of them. This post is way toooo long now, so I’ll just continue on a new one. See you at the next post!

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Ready to End My Life Here… Sunday, May 17 2009

you know what…my mom is a b in my head right now and soon a b to her face. she told me to type up and edit my sister’s science project and now she keeps telling me all the stuff i did wrong.

Quote:

“Why are we even letting you have an education?”

ummm…if ur letting me do all the work with this editing and typing in the first place, at least, let ME do it. didn’t you tell me to do this?

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Holocaust PAPER! Tuesday, Mar 24 2009

Me again!

I’m supposed to be researching a topic for the Holocaust today. Clearly I’m not doing that right now, but, hey, I’m supposed to be practicing my flute as well. UIL is next week, and like all “wonderfully motivated” band directors, mine was freaking out. I am not going to play the flute the rest of my life, so, yeah, it doesn’t really matter to me except I don’t want to let everyone else down.

My camera is STILL missing, by the way. The principal said he was going to look at the surveillance cameras, but chances are, it’s already a lost cause.  I don’t want to hope that I’ll find it or anything, because I probably won’t. My mom’s already told me all the worst scenarios…You don’t even wanna know.

Almost ten weeks of school left.

I just hope I survive through it all with everything intact. Life is normal today, not much to say.

Love, 

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